He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
