I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
