matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
