I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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