i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
