i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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