fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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