Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
