I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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