This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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