I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
