I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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