i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
