I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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