You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Edward fifth and chaser hands
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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