I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
