the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
