But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
