Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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