just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
