So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
