Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
handjob tips. give me some.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
