Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
