sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
