just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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