last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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