p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
