I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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