dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
