Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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