do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
