There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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