I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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