I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think i have herpe
just one?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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