I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
