all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
In America we eat man semen.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
