it was like eating out sand paper
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
