can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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