I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
