The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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