Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i would punch a child for taco bell
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
