I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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