I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
