I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize