There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize