Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All I want is dick and wine.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
