Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
