we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
