8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
