I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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