Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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