are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
