Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize