you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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