We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Actions speak louder than pants.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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