Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
