so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
They took my balls.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Pants are for mortals
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
