She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
