The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
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