I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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