we're blogging at a bar
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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