i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize