Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
