Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
